Jesus answered him, "Simon I have something to tell you",
(verse 40a)
I have been saved by faith in Jesus and yet my heart is still so prone to be like Simon - seated and watching, my soul becomes fat and lazy on all of my works I think are so worthy while my eyes narrow in on the sins of others.
If Jesus really knew...He wouldn't be so quick to reach out.
Left unchecked, my heart is my worst enemy.
Grace is something I haven't always understood - and it's been in the last few months since I became a mama of four that everything that seems to be placed in front of me is dripping with thoughts on grace. My life, so marked with fear and a desperate need to be good which turns into despair because I will never be good has ground to a halt and I'm kind of flailing here.
Grace is something I'm drowning in - heaving in great mouthfuls of mercy and freedom; but as one who has been weighed down so heavily in works and rules, it's a little earth-shattering. My footing has been lost.
Jesus exposes those deep, broken places and Graces rushes in to heal and restore, but a crippled heart trembles with the fresh beauty of the unknown.
I imagine Jesus' voice - as He turns from the sinful woman to the sinful Pharisee and I am guessing that His words were sweetened with just as much love for him as they were for her.
I have something to tell you, Simon...
It probably won't be easy to hear.
It probably won't be easy to hear.
It will probably expose the deepest, ugliest places of a soul,
But it will be transforming.
Just say yes.
~~~
God Who answers the thoughts in my heart,
God Who exposes the ugly and broken places because You are holy and because You are love and You spilled Your blood because that spilled blood is the only way for me to come to You,
I try so often to come to You on my own - I forget I am clothed in Your righteousness already and when I try and do well on my own, I am really trying to rip of Your righteousness so I can put the rags of my sinfulness back on again.
You hear each thought - and You understand the root of them all. You see the origin and You answer from those places.
I shouldn't be surprised - The Unfathomable understanding the frail - so when You come near, when Your Words pierce my heart with all that they hold, keep me near You.
There is Grace in all that You do.
I am clinging to that, to You, today.
I am clinging to that, to You, today.
